Darkest Before The Dawn

 It’s true, that saying which says it is always Darkest before the Dawn. The trial and tribulations we face in life lead us to this very statement. When the mountain seems to crumble before us, we become blinded by our fears. It is then that we are blindsided by anger, resentment, and disappointment. What then do we do in this precise moment of Dark?  We dig deep for the strength within, that confidence in our soul that screams at us, telling us we can accomplish anything. –What do you mean you don’t hear it….Of course you can’t, you have to have faith that it is there and just keep digging, keep doing, keep trying. The moment you quit, you fail. It’s as simple as that. The moment you allow yourself to say, “This is Impossible” you have let your fear win and you are a failure. What do you mean that’s Harsh – No, it’s reality. The moment you quit trying to achieve something, you have failed at doing.

I’m not saying this for a motivational purpose; I am merely repeating what I have been taught. You ask me, on any day of the week, “How did you do that?” and I will tell you, I found a way. I gave up my ideal on what I wanted…not giving up on achieving them, just on how to attain them. I decided to go for one thing at a time, Busting my ass at each and every dream at that moment. Have I gotten Everything I Ever wanted? –The answer is simple, No, but then again, I can compromise the when and more importantly the How.

Compromise…The MOST important word in getting out of the Dark. I made a list about 5 years ago, or more like a dream board, hung it next to my desk and kept thumb tacking dreams to it. In that time, I have taken pictures and notes down, not just because I have achieved the dream but because I compromised their importance. Do you really NEED certain dreams; are they for the greater good? Can you have something in a smaller scale, or is it a MUST that you have it be so Grand. I laugh at this part because most of us would put Mansion, million dollars, etc. etc. Well…think about it, do you really Really want a mansion to have to clean all the time? Would you want to pay the enormous taxes on being a millionaire…could you compromise and have something in the middle, for example: your house being paid off…or having money in a savings account and being able to pay your bills and not be in the red once you’re done.

The only reason I’m even writing this is because I found a new sense of happiness when I finally learned the importance of Looking at the Bigger Picture. It’s not the most important thing for me to have one of my books on the New York Times best-seller list. I mean, it would be nice but the just the fact that my books are being published is what I find as the accomplishment. Bigger Picture: I’ve always wanted a vineyard, but I don’t Need all the land to know I can grow grapes and make wine…I have 7 vines growing and producing European grapes and they are still alive. I’ve succeeded to overcome my black-thumb. POINT: I’m happy with the small achievements which keeps me in the light.

I suppose we must learn to be truly happy with all the small things before we can make it past the dawn.

-April Gutierrez  

1/14/2011